Alive in the Details

Posted on February 9, 2012 by

Original Photo by Natasha Reilly

“To me, Grandma meant summer afternoons eating lunch together, sharing spearmint leaves and swimming. She was my Christmas morning hug. She was white gloves and black patent leather shoes on Easter. She was my sunset, my ocean. She was shell pink nail polish and sparkling, brilliant eyes. Simply, Grandma was my home. “ – written by Natasha Reilly

This is an excerpt from the eulogy I gave for my Grandma who passed away ten years ago. These words are alive within me just as she is when I think of her – for this is exactly as I still see her. When I hear these words in my head I can picture her in her favorite outfit, laughing; she was always laughing.

There are people in this world that work their entire lives to amass a fortune in the hopes that they will be remembered but it is not through power or money that we are remembered. No, we are remembered in the details of our stories. It is in the way we laugh, hug one another, create work that mirrors our soul and share our hearts. It is in the quirks we share and the vulnerability we allow others bear witness to. The stories of our lives revolve around the details we share and those collected from who we meet, learn from and love.

I talk about my Grandma to my children. I share the stories about those summer afternoons with her; I bring her to life as I tell the story of her life. My words fall like snowflakes upon their hearts – some will melt into them and become part of their story and others will disappear. But this is how she lives on, how we all live on through the stories we tell with our lives, the stories we leave behind.

I would absolutely love to hear about someone in your life – someone who is here with us or who passed along. I would love to share in the moments that mean something to you, the moments that struck you about a loved one. So today I invite you to share. Be open, honest and share your heart, your story and in doing so, you will allow someone you love to live on and perhaps teach others something magical about their own life.

Try it. Share!


Posted in Personal Stories | 3 Comments

This Balloon Is For You

Posted on February 6, 2012 by

I was seventeen years old when I packed some of my heart’s desires away in the closet of my soul. While at dinner with my Aunt who was looked at as “the education queen” in the family because she was a professor at a well-respected university so I took her opinions to be wisdom and thus, lost my way.

“I’m really interested in yoga,” I said, the smile on my face speaking volumes for the excitement in my soul. Finally, I was releasing dreams to the air like a balloon reaching for the clouds and stars beyond as I readied myself to apply to college.

“Everyone likes yoga for a minute and then you’re done. It’s a fad nothing more. What else are you interested in?” she said.

The smile slipped from my lips like helium from the balloon. As my face flushed, I cursed myself for sharing what were clearly the childish notions of a teenager not ready for the awaiting maturity that I believed came with college. I stepped forth cautiously.

“Umm, well I love marine life and I’ve thought about becoming a marine biologist although I want to work with dolphins, you know care for them and train them but I’m not sure marine biology is the right term. Do you know?”

“You don’t like blood, how could you ever do that?? No. What else that would be more practical. I know you like writing but that’s hard. It’s like one in a million who actually survive writing. Have you thought about teaching?”

There was the word – practical. How could I have been such a BIG dreamer? I was getting older and should be thinking in more rational terms.  Wasn’t work something you had to do but not necessarily like and your hobby would be your passion?  Yes, it was true I loved writing even my Mom had said – “You can do it but you really need a backup.”

Backups, practical ideas, rational thinking – these were the words thrown at me and I ate them up like nuggets of wisdom. As I made room for these thoughts, I cleared out my childish dreams and walked forward half alive.  I was not wandering and exploring the story within my soul, I was simply lost.

What if I had stopped to recognize that their words – while born from a place of love – were simply the lessons they had inherited from their stories? If stories are our own creations we have to remember we can either settle for an obvious, socially accepted lesson that doesn’t challenge societal norms in any meaningful way and leaves us “safe” (whatever that means) or write our own lesson that might just inspire others to do the same and deepen their life story.

What if I had seen that just as they had created stories in their lives, I was just beginning to really write mine, to lie down the bare bones and in doing so, my story was far too fragile to share yet. I was an insecure teen whose stories were just beginning to be my own book of vignettes and it was not ready for editors.

Our stories are as sacred as the air we breathe. We come onto the world as distinctive souls – believe me! Spend time with a baby who has just been born and you will see the shimmering light of a unique life. The simple ways they interact tell us right away that they arrived with more than organs, blood and bodies. There is a light within that’s sacred; they are mini-creators with an innate ability to create an epic story!

What are your stories? Do you realize how unique your story is? We may drive the same car but we don’t drive it down the same roads the same way! The more stories we have to share, the more stories others have to share. Some people are jealous of others stories – but just because one person may possess more stories this does not lessen your life’s stories – it adds to it. Through inspiring others with your stories YOU create more stories. More = more.

We need MORE support for stories, dreams and lives. We need to give each other a balloon and cheer loudly as we watch one another sail up, up, up to the clouds, the moon, the stars and beyond!

Posted in Personal Stories | 5 Comments

Hooray For Birthdays!

Posted on January 31, 2012 by

Originally written 12/20/2011

I am one of those people who will join in with the restaurant employees singing “Happy Birthday” to another patron across the room. I will go out of my way to wish even a stranger, happy birthday. Yes, I am one of those people whom you are going to know, weeks before, when my birthday is. Not because I expect or desire a gift but because I simply love life. Birthdays are an annual celebration of life, marking another complete journey around the sun, resonating the joy of living.

While I might not be one to expect or desire a birthday gift; I am, like most, ‘over the moon’ excited to receive them. All gifts are a reminder that we are appreciated, thought of, loved. But, every now and then a gift is given which penetrates beyond these reminders and lets us know we are more than appreciated, we are needfully enter twined and connected just by being; we are more than thought of, we have a place where we belong; we are more than loved, we are love.

These are the gifts which remain treasured in our hearts long after the designer hand bag goes out of style, after the rejuvenating effects of a weekend retreat have worn off, or the beautiful jewelry has been replaced. These are also gifts, I believe, which go deeper still than a memory, they are eternal. Gifts which not only remain with us here in our earth life but cross over with us as well.

I have been blessed with three of these kinds of birthday gifts. One was on my 23rd birthday when I gave birth to my daughter. Another, on my birthday 2005, was a smile I received from my husband. And the other was this year, on my 50th birthday, a showering of birthday cards. Each one of these birthday gifts is a story in and of itself. It is the latter of which I want to tell today.

A report I once received read,

“…one of the best things a woman could do for her health is to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends. Physically this quality girlfriend time helps us to produce more serotonin-combating depression and can create a general feeling of well-being…and is as important to our general health as jogging or working out at a gym…”

My entire adult life I have gone without ‘girlfriends’. Strange for me to say but it’s true, until this year. This past spring I was introduced and welcomed into a circle of women, a tribe of sisterhood. Together we have created a safe place to share our hopes and dreams, our sorrows and joys, our fears and victories. We can speak of our past, wish for our future and yet remain ever-present for each other. There is no judgment, no condemnation, no betrayal.

These women are diversely talented, creative, gifted. They shine brightly in their communities. They are risk takers, unshackled souls, wild and fearless hearts. I continual glean from these beautiful women. Over the past several months I had wondered if I am able to give to them in return. Am I able to kindle their hearts as they do mine? Do I really have a place here with them, do I belong?

Then, about a week before my 50th birthday, my Joyful Jubilee, I began to receive birthday cards; handmade, thoughtful, with heartfelt sentiments. Each day I’d receive one or two more; the day before my birthday I received about a half-dozen. Oh my goodness my heart was blessed. On my birthday my son brought in the mail, “Mom, your tribal friends must really like you,” he said as he handed me about a dozen more. But it didn’t stop there; they continued to come in for days following, I was showered with birthday cards.

The postal clerk at our little country post office stopped me and said, “You have a great group of friends. I’ve never seen anyone receive so many birthday cards. They love you.”

My daughter summed it up best, after hearing about this wonderful birthday card showering, she came across a quote by the Dalai Lama and said, “Mom this quote makes me think of your tribe, ‘The more you are motivated by love the more Fearless and Free your actions will be.’”

I can’t say the report I’d received can be verified but I can report it is true. My ‘girlfriends’ created more for me then “a general feeling of well being.” They blessed my heart and boosted my “general health.”

Hooray for birthdays! Hooray for girlfriends! Hooray for girlfriends who let you know you are connected, you do belong, you are love and not just on birthdays.

About the author:

Julia Frehner – who was reluctant to send me even the tiniest bio ;) so I am going to make some stuff up for her… as one of her “Art sisters”♥ Julia is… well, the kind of person who WILL see the silver lining everywhere she turns. And if you’d like proof of that – you can check out her blog – Keeping it so Simple – where her briefest ever public profile claims the following:

Astrological Sign Sagittarius

Introduction wonderer, dreamer, believer, creator, mother, seeker, wanderer, scribbler, wisher, explorer…simply lover of life

Favorite Books Books on the night stand – The Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd, The Master’s Touch by Yogi Bhajan PhD, Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

You’ve been invited to a fancy ball but the only thing you have to wear is an orange wooly jumper. What shoes do you wear?

Oh that’s easy…None

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Posted in Personal Stories, What, Who | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

The Dutchess of Orange… Kim Philips van Buren

Posted on December 16, 2011 by

I’m posting this story of Kim… the fabulous “Dutchess of Orange” (please don’t forget the ‘T’ in “Dutchess”!)

TA154 Kim
I love this picture of Kim… I think it tells a story all on its own.

I first encountered Kim through Connie Hozvicka’s Painting Fearless(R) BIG intuitive e-painting course and had the opportunity to meet Kim in person this past October. A group of 12 of us met for Connie’s first painting-retreat in Sedona, AZ. Kim flew all the way from the Netherlands for the weekend, just to be with us. I have many things I could say about Kim, but this is her story, so I’ll let her tell it.

This is only a PART of her story, but she agreed to let me post it here.

♥Thank you Kim

Kim's Juicy Painting - Video LINK (Click on Picture to see video)

“I made this in my studio, in an in between moment, i came to pick up my apron fopr claysculpting class and i needed to make something, i needed some JUICE, I wanted to keep things flowing after the tears this week and the feeling shut up inside me (is that english?), locked up is maybe better, and I decided to share this. my favourite colours, i needed paint in my hands and arms. If you look closely – i didn’t wash properly – remains of the paint are still there as a visual reminder – i did a similar thing in sedona, painting my little guy for Jennifer, no thinking (will she like it), just painting. I wanted to lick the paint. Too bad the camera is not so good, so you can’t see all the juice colours and details.”

I asked Kim to please give us her definition of “JUICE,” just in case you’re not familiar with how the word is being used here:

Juice? You’ve come to the right place, since I’m The Dutchess of Orange, girl. Juice is when you eat an orange. It’s sweet and sour and bitter at the same time. It’s scent will enter your brain. It’s juice will run over your fingers when you peel it. It will touch anything you touch. It will take over. You can do nothing but eat that orange with full concentration. It will refresh you and give you energy. Juice is what makes you smile and what makes you get up from your chair to get started. Juice is what wakes up you heart.

Meet the Dutchess

I am Kim, otherwise known as “The Dutchess of Orange”.

I’m a Dutch girl, 33 ½, I’m a teacher and a Creative Soul.
I teach at an elementary school,
mostly to the younger children (4 and 5 years old)
and I teach “Creative and Juicy Art” at my own studio.

I love creating stuff with my hands (and feet sometimes)
I love teaching
Bring them together & you come up with what my website is all about.
I’ve been making art for as long I can remember, from simple doodles and presents and books for my friends

The Dutchess of Orange is about living a Creative and Juicy Life, and sharing it with others.
I hope you will come visit me in my studio sometimes.

Please feel free to leave a comment for Kim, or the project. And please check out her website …be forewarned, it’s mostly in Dutch ;)

Kim’s “JUICE”

Posted in Introductions, Personal Stories, Video | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

Escape INTO Reality

Posted on December 13, 2011 by

Here are a couple of videos I hope may prod you a bit. No pain or bullying involved! Just a gentle plea that asks you to tell your stories.

Escaping INTO Reality… what if all of this story-telling and story-sharing stuff actually causes us to become more engaged in REALITY?

Everyone’s got a story to tell Escaping INTO Reality from Shamsi Charlie Pettus on Vimeo.

AND! Fear NOT! If you’re just looking for a little help – this is a short little memory recall exercise – not entirely a guided meditation, but close – to help you find that story you feel like really needs to be let out.

In these videos I talk about:
Circe’s Cirlce
Chris Kay Fraser’s Firefly Creative Writing
Julia Cameron’s “The Artist’s Way”

Posted in How, Instructional, Video, Who | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

How I got here… the short story

Posted on December 12, 2011 by

This is Charlie-The-Girl reporting….

I’m here to tell you a little bit about what got me “here,” with the short version.

I feel as though my world has been converging on this point for years, but I never really understood it.  I’ve always told people, “I’m a ‘connector’ – I like to connect people.”  It’s absolutely true! I have an rich friend base that crosses gender, social-economic, age, cultural and political boundaries and I love introducing them to one another.

Recently, while discussing with a dying friend what our values were, I told her, “I think I’ve finally realized that my relationships are the most important thing in my life.”

She laughed, “Charlie,” she said, “I thought you already knew that?”

I told her that on some level I had known.  That I did know this, but that relationships had seemed a ‘small’ part of my life, rather than the rock of my foundation.  But it took her cancer to make me realize what all of this “people collecting” had been about.  I need the stories of others to put my own life and purpose into perspective.

The day we had our final conversation, I was supposed to be on the first call of a coaching tele-circle called “Circe’s Circle” for which I was bringing my new project, “See and Be Seen” to the table.  There had been an amorphous malaise growing within my soul.  A stormy cloud that would darken my day for no reason.  The feelings that develop from watching too much news, listening to too many complaints, and sitting still behind a computer screen feeling helpless while taking no action but prayer.  So the feeling continued to grow, unchecked, for over a year.  I didn’t know what to do about it… the feeling, but I felt I needed to do something about what was causing the feeling.

I guess I don’t need to say, “ugly” seems to be everywhere lately.  I don’t remember if there was a single instance of ignorance, violence, prejudice, arrogance or if all of the stories I had been hearing just caused a melt-down in that particular part of my brain, but my soul was spurring me to action.  Now, I don’t know if you have ever not listened to your soul when it was “spurring you to action,” but just in case you’ve missed out (lucky you,) the feeling is one of discordance… of being “out of tune”… of standing in between two rooms where distinctly different music is being played in both rooms… it just doesn’t feel right.

So that’s where I was when I began to realize that all of the visions, inspirations, and ideas that had been coming at me for almost two years were, well, maybe not the solution, but definitely something I could DO.  And maybe it could help.  I was tired of watching people hurt themselves on television, just for the sake of “being seen.”  I had had an eye-full of people doing “hey y’all! watch this!” stunts, for the sake of attention, which it seems so many of us are lacking.  I was in knots over watching people act out and disrespect themselves because it seems that this is the only type of activity that receives attention in our society.  But the attention drawn from self-depreciating stunts is rarely the kind that anyone needs.  Every day, I found myself wanting to reach out to some person, some where and say, “TELL ME YOUR STORY! I WANT TO HEAR! YOU MATTER!!!”  And that’s when it dawned on me… maybe we each just need a witness to our lives.  We each just need the chance for our stories to be seen and heard; our everyday pain, joy and ennui.  We each need to be seen for who and what we are, not for our circumstances, not for our celebrity, but simply for being another human being, for being a “brother” or a “sister” of the human race.  We each just need the chance of being seen by someone who will witness, without judgement and perhaps even without verbal response, our pain, joy, suffering, celebration, individuality… someone to acknowledge our unique spark, and honor it.

You are witnessing the results of the coaching tele-circle here.  Through these words, through this website, and whatever else will grow from it.  We wrapped our ten weeks together this morning and I really wanted to be celebrating having had a first class/session of “See and Be Seen” (the project’s initial title) by our last call.  That did not happen, and my little-impatient-fire-self is actually “OK” with that, because instead, I am here, sharing my vision with you all.  And instead of “a class” called “See and Be Seen,” I will be celebrating a website and community project called “Show See Share,” where I hope we can, all together:

  • Create a safe environment for any and everyone to share their stories.
  • Communicate and share our quiet stories, our loud stories, our sad stories, our funny stories, share OUR STORIES.
  • Learn about ourselves.
  • Learn about others.
  • Create compassion and healing through awareness.
  • Whatever other Love, Respect, Honoring and Celebrating we can do of one another – through our stories.

Please stay tuned for some video exercises and prompts to get you started on telling YOUR story.

In the mean time, I’ve created a couple of introductory videos for your belly-laughing entertainment.

Posted in How, Introductions | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments